“You don’t know what love is….Until you’ve learned the meaning of the blues…..…you don’t know what love is!”
The above quote by Chet Baker speaks a lot about love and the pain it bring along. Getting over a break up is never easy. Sudden breakup triggers a paralyzing pang of shock and anguish and gradually it turns into a strange sense of grief and gloom. Helplessness hovers all the time and often it seems to take forever to get over the pain.
There are several common mistakes that people often commit after one of the two partners has withdrawn himself/herself from a relationship like:
- Calling up the ex-partner again and again and sending sentimental text messages throughout the day, especially in a drunken state.
- When rejected again and again, calling names and being abusive over the phone, email or in person.
- Locking up oneself inside a lonely room and avoiding every other well-wisher in the name of sorrow.
- Resorting to alcohol, drugs or other addictive substances for temporary relief.
- Giving up all professional commitments and misbehaving with friends and family.
If you have ever been in love and it didn’t work, you must have experienced one or more of these symptoms. The first thing to understand is that when the relationship is between two persons, either one of them should have the liberty to choose whether to be in the relationship or not. You must respect your partner’s decision for breaking up.
Following are some of the sure-fire tips on how to get over a break up:
- Stop feeling miserable and think positive: Every relationship comes with a lot of hope and expectations and a breakup puts an end to all suddenly; hence it is implied that the sense of helplessness and vulnerability will take over. Your job is to control this feeling and get over the sudden shock. Think positively that there may be something better is waiting for you.
- Keep yourself busy: Try to keep yourself busy with some task, which make you happy. This will divert your attention from break up things.
- Try Meditation: Try to calm your mind and body using meditation and yoga. This will remove all negative energy surrounding you and you will feel relaxed.
- Stop blaming yourself: The common feeling that almost everyone suffers after a breakup is guilt. You must understand where you went wrong and try to change that for future. But continuously blaming yourself will not do any good. Have sympathy for yourself and stop feeling guilty and at fault.
- Share your feelings : It feels great to express your heart in front of someone who is sensible and listen to you with empathy. Try not to expose your pain and suffering in front of gossip-mongers; they will simply make fun of your feelings and spread the word all over!
- Do not hate your ex just because he/she chose not to stay with you: This is a fundamental right of every human being and you must show respect to what others decide for themselves.
- Find new assignments, hobbies or activities. Avoiding social encounters will not help you get relief from the pain. You must spend time doing things that you enjoy. Read a new book, visit the amusement park with friends and go to office every day. Gradually your sulky face will lit up in smile.
- Have faith in the power of time and be strong: Time is a great healer. The most painful woes fade away with the passage of time and yours is no exception. Let yourself cry, grieve and watch the soothing effects on your own!
Getting over breakup is no big deal if you accept things the way it is. Maybe your ex will get back to you if you maintain a friendly relationship with him/her even after the breakup. Learn from your mistakes and do not let them happen ever again. Prepare yourself for another relationship and in the mean time enjoy every moment. Remember life is short and it will seem lengthy only if you pamper your grief and pain!
Best of Luck!